Losing respect for a person you had the most respect for sucks. It’s amazing how things happen.

At 20 years old, I never thought I would have to mother my 53 year old, very functional father. How did I get here?

I just need to vent, not that I need to explain myself to the 0 people who will read this.

Everyone has their own problems, I have mine, and you have yours. But dealing with a father who is depressed and near suicidal? That sucks.

I can’t do anything to help. I do everything I can to be happy, and I don’t need to be around someone who only makes me sad. I’m sick of being brought down. Depression is a thing. I’ve been there, but what isn’t completely understood is that happiness is a choice. I chose and still choose to look at the positive things, find outlets to help me be happy and get over the things that weigh me down. Unlike my father.

The air conditioner we bought (that we returned for full refund) wouldn’t fit in any of our windows…. so what does my dad do? Flip out. Obsesses over it. Makes it a bigger deal than it was. Swear. Drink. Slam a door. And cry.

You won’t understand the situation unless you are in my shoes. I’m completely sick of the “poor me” act that is pulled. Stop complaining. Stop asking for hand outs, or stop accepting them. What grown adult doesn’t have a mortgage? Bills? A job? You’re not going through something unordinary. You’re going through life. I CAN’T TAKE CARE OF YOU. I CAN NOT BABY YOU. My heart hurts because the man I called my dad and my best friend, isn’t him anymore.

My grandpa just passed away on Sunday, and apparently he wasnt ready at all even through we werepreparing for it for three weeks. It is his father, but also….how often did you see him? Once a year? On a good one twice? Buddy, we are all hurting. I am hurting. Grampa Jim was easily the best man I have ever met. You can’t throw a pity party. I’m not. Life goeson. He was 87 years old, and we helped him not suffer. We let him leave this earth to enter Heaven still full of life, still ful of his love of life.

I’m just so sick. My dad supports me financially and that’s about it. I dont mean this in a bratty way. He just doesn’t realize that bad things happen to everyone, not just him. “My mom passed away ten years ago” Okay dad. You were 40 and Iwas 15 when I lost my mom. We can’t complain. We just have to strap on the boots, and make the best of what we got

I need this to be over. I just can’t take care of my dad. I am trying so unbelievably hard. But i can’t hear “I want to die” “Life isn’t worth it” “Everything bad happens to me”. I physically and mentally can’t take it anymore, when all I want is to be there for him. But I have no respect for a man who doesn’t want to help himself and try. I have little respect for a man who admits to being suicidal to his only kid. I want MY DAD back. This person destroys me.

I want to respect you, and I want to be there for you. But it’s hard. Please don’t push me away. I don’t want that. I am trying.

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thosegirlsandboys:

sin—and—self-destruction:

Black and white blog *trigger warning*

thosegirlsandboys:

sin—and—self-destruction:

Black and white blog *trigger warning*

(Source: my-teen-quote, via itchingforadventure)

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(Source: mermaidtank, via itchingforadventure)

4,740 notes

I can’t wait to have MY life. With my house and my yard and my family. I can’t wait to grow old and be happy, as odd as that sounds. I’m excited for my future

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lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

(Source: thatboynotjustanyboy, via simplywandering)

2,540 notes

kushandwizdom:

Good Vibes HERE

kushandwizdom:

Good Vibes HERE

3,265 notes

(Source: embrace-it-all, via mdpdotcom)

67 notes

burstsofbeautiful:

 

burstsofbeautiful:

 

(via mdpdotcom)

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(Source: for-the-sad, via mdpdotcom)

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relaapse:

teensquotess:

http://teenlifequotes.com/

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relaapse:

teensquotess:

http://teenlifequotes.com/

(via kendraa-leigh)

4,152 notes